Sunday, December 21

> this love..

I love you too much to let you go, and this love i have for you is too pressurising. Maybe i should really just let go, but i really dont know how to..

Ive been thinking about you the entire day and at the same time reminding myself that you are away, too far away..

Dragging on really isnt doing us any better, its making us more distant. Dont understand why i cant just pluck up the courage to say goodbye, why cant i hold my head high up and walk away with dignity, why cant i stop making the two of us unhappy.

I am so selfish..

Please let me be the strong girl i once was, who can just easily walk away from a relationship that turned stale. Please let me have back my air and confidence, let me be the girl you used to know, the girl whom you fell for.

I am losing you..but before i really do, i have already lost myself.

In this lose-lose situation, what is it exactly that is holding me back?

If saying goodbye is the best resort, if leaving would make you feel happier and liberated, i guess i would really need to, even if its gonna hurt me so bad, so much worst than all these while.

I just want you to be happy, but would you really be?

Never knew loving someone wholeheartedly could cause so much pains to you and me. Never knew loving someone wholeheartedly could be so wrong.

I love you too much and im sorry i did.

But dont ever feel sorry to me, ive never felt that it was any of your fault. Lets push it all to love, push it all to fate, push it all to timings, push it all to impulsiveness, push it to everything else except yourself.

You're not making me sad, i am.

Stop deliberately trying to do things to push me off my limits, it doesnt really work that way, it doesnt really work for me.

I love you, too much, and im sorry i love you..

sealed-with-a-kiss < 6:33:00 am

___________________________________________



* yours truly.

amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*


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